To my fellow old dogs….

One day the old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long,
discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading
rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old German Shepherd thinks, ‘Oh, oh!  I’m in deep doo-doo now!’ Noticing
some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on
the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about
to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, ‘Boy, that was one
delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?’

Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of
terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. ‘Whew!’ says the
panther, ‘That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!’

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby
tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection from the panther. So, off he goes, but the old German Shepherd
sees him heading after the panther with great speed, and figures that
something must be up.

The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes
a deal for himself with the panther.

The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, ‘Here,
squirrel, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving
canine!

Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on
his back and thinks, ‘What am I going to do now?’, but instead of running,
the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen
them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German
Shepherd says…

‘Where’s that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another
panther!

Moral of this story…

Don’t mess with the old dogs… age and skill will always overcome youth and
treachery!

Brains and brilliance only come with age and experience.

If you don’t send this to five ‘old’ friends right away, there will be five
fewer people laughing in the world.

A Harley rider is passing the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning
into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her
jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her under the eyes of
her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square
on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion
jumps back, letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her
terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A New York Times reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter
says, “Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in
my whole life.” The biker replies, “Why, it was nothing, really, the
lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as
I felt right.”

The reporter says, “Well, I’m a journalist from the New York Times, and
tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page… so, what do
you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?”

The biker replies, “I’m a U.S. Marine and a Republican.”

The following morning the biker buys The New York Times to see if it
indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on front page:

“U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH.”